Hey guys. Today, I'll be posting about something that I had thought I had accomplished not giving a fuck about or escaping the fear of, yet it came back and hit me like a brick. So, here it is. You ready for it?

Death.

What does that word make you think of? What connotations do you have with it? What pictures are formed in your mind?

I was born an raised a Catholic. That being said, I do have a very open mind. I have considered what the various outcomes of other religion's afterlives would be while still keeping true to my own. I figure, hey if I'm right yay, if not I won't exist and then I won't care because i won't exist. However, it's one of those things you think you have down, but you don't REALLY realize it until later on. Later on just so happened to be right now.

While i had previously "accepted" either theory of afterlife or lack thereof, I started thinking about it more tonight. When I, or anyone really dies, if we don't have an afterlife then that's it. That's all. Those moments of your death are your last. Then you die, and there is absolutely nothing. Everything you had kept in your tiny little head that you never told anyone is gone. All gone. You don't even know it. You can't say "oh look i'm dead" because you are dead. Dead dead dead. You have nothing. Nothing has you.

That's the part that frightens me. I cannot imagine what it will be like when I'm not thinking, moving, breathing, speaking, or anything. I can't imagine what it will be like, and imagining it is useless because I will never feel what it's like after death. It's almost like wanting something really bad, but having some sort of hope. Except you know there is absolutely 100% no way you will know. As a kid, you wanted a toy, and you could imagine it, you COULD get it, but it likely wasn't going to happen if it was too expensive or what have you. Wondering about death with no afterlife, you have NO hope. You KNOW there is NOTHING beyond that point. Not even a glimmer of hope resides.

Don't even get me started on the social and physical aspects of death. That scares me almost as much as what's AFTER death. Knowing that you could die at any moment. Immense pain or no pain at all, it could happen anytime. All of the people you know and love will fade away from your mind, as you'll be dead. Chances are you won't be remembered in history, but what do you care? you are dead.

The pain that is most likely to come with death frightens me too. The saying, "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" comes to mind. In this case, there's no rebound for what killed you. you don't get stronger, since you just died. It's all a waste.

There's more I wanted to say, but the panic of this sudden realization of a previously known fact has finally left my mind. So I'll come back to this post.

So I figured it was time for a new newspost. And it's ClockDay so what better time to do it?

FYI; I am not a real Clock, I should have become one, but I don't want to anymore. But let me use this newspost to discuss why i have this name and how I came to be.

In the year 2007, April, I believe it was, I found NewGrounds. It was all because of a Madness animation about a school shooting. Weird, since V-tech happened that same month. But watching that animation, NG began to grow on me. And within time, it was already May, and I was exploring the many parts of Pre-Redesign NG. By June, I had found a group that I found quite interesting. As you probably have guessed, it was the Clock Crew.

Being 11 at the time (Oh wow, feels like a long time ago), I learned as much as I could and drew comics, made clay figures, the works. I was an 11 year old kid with a fascination for Madness, the Clock Crew, and the internet in general, but ESPECIALLY NewGrounds. By July I was visiting this site every day, evenon vacations I wanted to check NewGrounds for cool animations.

And then, the redesign came.

The site was down for a few days, and when it was back up, I was appalled. it was so much fun exploring the areas of the new site, looking for secrets and such. Watching animations on the then new front page with the music added. Fun times.

Then August came, and I was still a lurker of NewGrounds. But, while on another vacation, I thought, hey, why don't I become a MEMBER of NewGrounds? Granted, I had my doubts, me being 11 I felt that I would get in trouble for being underaged. However, within a week or so, I had gotten over my fears.

I asked my mom at the time, (I didn't have an e-mail address, wow, this was a LONG time ago) if I could join. She was fine with it. What would my name be though? I thought and thought, then realized that I wanted to be part of the Clock Crew. I liked SaltshakerClock, it had a nice ring to it. So, within time, I was SaltshakerClock, an underaged user on NewGrounds.

It wasn't long until I met some NG friends. IceCubeClock (or however his name was spelt), aLIsters, and within a few months, BrazilianNinja became my friends. I know there were more that I have probably forgotten, but I digress. Today, i still see aListers post on the BBS sometimes, and I think IceCubeClock remembers me. BrazilianNInja I talk to every now and then, but nothing like when we used to have long conversations over PM.

However, within time, i realized I was not a Clock just because I had the name. I had to join the CC website. At the time though, I was on a confidence boost from joining NG underaged. I figured, hey, I can join anywhere. Wrong. I entered CC with my real age, which was 11 at the time, and I was unable to get an account. it didn't directly say, "You are too young" but I figured it out soon enough. I felt like lying about my age was wrong too (Hey there 11 year old morality) so I forgot about it. Everywhere I went on the internet that followed in the months after, I used this username. And everywhere I went, I had to explain that I was not a Clock, or in the case of deviantArt, I had to explain my name was not SaltshakerCOCK. Yeah. Fun times.

Years passed and I grew less and less fond of the name. Knowing that it grouped me with the Clock Crew yet somehow thinking they would know I'm not one of them bothered me. I've tried multiple times to get my name changed, but to no avail. Within time I figured out that I needed to write a big long paper about how I wanted my name changed, and not just a tiny, few sentenced PM.

And with that explained, I am here to say that I plan to make the days of this username numbered. I might have one of my alts changed to this name (Just so no grubby newcomer doesn't take it), but I plan to change it to something a little less childish, or rather, childish in my head.

Don't get me wrong, I like the name, and I have some emotional attachment to it (Getting kind of mushy, isn't it?), but I don't think it represents me anymore. Did it represent me as an 11 year old CC crew wannabe? Yeah, it sure did. Does it represent the person I am now? I don't really believe so, but those who hardly know me, or know me as of recently, may think otherwise.

So, fellow NewGrounders. I think the time has come. Say goodbye to SaltShakerClock and hello to ____________.

Happy Clock Day everyone. :)

AND EDIT: JUST FIXED SOME SHTUFF.

About 2 months ago, i played the free version of MineCraft for a little while. it was fun, time-consuming and addictive. After that, one of my friends got MineCraft, and has been playing it ever since. About a week ago i finally bought the Beta version.

And to think, i thought Classic was addicting.

Anyways, I really like building/trying in single player, but i also really enjoy messing around in multiplayer. So, if you could, leave your MineCraft name and/or server number so i can either play with you sometime or add your name to my friend's server's list as an OP.

I just ate macaroni and cheese balls. Fried mac and cheese balls.

AWESOME.

DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUUUUHM.

I thought maybe I'd add a video into this post, I've never done it before, would sure make me look all special and spiffy, eh?

So, here's a video for all your enjoyment(s?). It's a cat that's too large to enter the cat-door, but does so anyways.

Getting them today, in reference to last news post I made.

I'll post a pic when i have them in my possession.

So I am getting glasses.

I went to the eye doctor today, and after the exam I was given a choice, get glasses or not. I could see SO much better with corrective lenses, so i choose to get glasses.

They'll be arriving in 8-10 days, and I'll post a photo with them on.

So, the question is, do any of you have glasses? And how are you guys in general?

Picture, sure, until I get my glasses, this is the image in this post.

So yeah, yesterday I got LBP2, much to my surprise. Played it all day yesterday and when I got home, all day today. Fun fun. On the very last level, but I still have quite a few side missions and all the tutorials and prize bubbles and whatnot.

One thing I have to put out there, this story is an actual STORY, unlike the first one's "story" mode. I have yet to finish the tutorials, and until I do so, I will NOT make any levels. Only 20 or so odd tutorials to go until I am finished with those.

Also, my PSN is beld55, PM me saying who you are. I only play LBP2, as of right now.

Picture? Alright, sure. Why not!

Psychology. It's an interesting topic, is it not? I hope to get into this field of work, treating people who have problems, hopefully becoming a psychotherapist. I hope to look into some psychology classes in my later high school years, but as for right now, I'm looking to get started. Looking into my local library, I see no books regarding psychology, maybe Barnes and Noble will have them. I dunno.

So, what did you/do you want to be/are currently as far as jobs and careers go? Do you plan to/are you work/working to that goal/have you reached it?

Also, does anybody know of a place that is willing to hire a 15 year old kid, except for local super markets, in Massachusetts? I want to get a job, start generating some money into my bank account.

Image included.

ALSO EDIT: HOLY SHIT JANUARY IS ALMOST OVER THANK GOD.