Hey guys. Today, I'll be posting about something that I had thought I had accomplished not giving a fuck about or escaping the fear of, yet it came back and hit me like a brick. So, here it is. You ready for it?
Death.
What does that word make you think of? What connotations do you have with it? What pictures are formed in your mind?
I was born an raised a Catholic. That being said, I do have a very open mind. I have considered what the various outcomes of other religion's afterlives would be while still keeping true to my own. I figure, hey if I'm right yay, if not I won't exist and then I won't care because i won't exist. However, it's one of those things you think you have down, but you don't REALLY realize it until later on. Later on just so happened to be right now.
While i had previously "accepted" either theory of afterlife or lack thereof, I started thinking about it more tonight. When I, or anyone really dies, if we don't have an afterlife then that's it. That's all. Those moments of your death are your last. Then you die, and there is absolutely nothing. Everything you had kept in your tiny little head that you never told anyone is gone. All gone. You don't even know it. You can't say "oh look i'm dead" because you are dead. Dead dead dead. You have nothing. Nothing has you.
That's the part that frightens me. I cannot imagine what it will be like when I'm not thinking, moving, breathing, speaking, or anything. I can't imagine what it will be like, and imagining it is useless because I will never feel what it's like after death. It's almost like wanting something really bad, but having some sort of hope. Except you know there is absolutely 100% no way you will know. As a kid, you wanted a toy, and you could imagine it, you COULD get it, but it likely wasn't going to happen if it was too expensive or what have you. Wondering about death with no afterlife, you have NO hope. You KNOW there is NOTHING beyond that point. Not even a glimmer of hope resides.
Don't even get me started on the social and physical aspects of death. That scares me almost as much as what's AFTER death. Knowing that you could die at any moment. Immense pain or no pain at all, it could happen anytime. All of the people you know and love will fade away from your mind, as you'll be dead. Chances are you won't be remembered in history, but what do you care? you are dead.
The pain that is most likely to come with death frightens me too. The saying, "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" comes to mind. In this case, there's no rebound for what killed you. you don't get stronger, since you just died. It's all a waste.
There's more I wanted to say, but the panic of this sudden realization of a previously known fact has finally left my mind. So I'll come back to this post.
aListers
Personally I believe in reincarnation but that's probably just to ease my mind. My reason why is just insane and probably nobody will believe it but me so i'm not going to say it just in case sombody proves me wrong.
I don't quite fear the state of no conciousness that most athiests believe in. I'll have no fear so I wouldn't care. I would have no bordem so I couldn't care. It's like before you were born so I can't remember what that was like. Nothing bad and nothing good. You will like your end happily or sadly and look forward to the heaven in the sky when you will see your family and friends some day. Before you find dissapointment your conciousness will be wiped out. In a way I consider that as an at least you didn't go to hell. No more suffering.
The concept of heaven scares me a bit more. For a couple of thousand years it would be great but isn't that the same as life? An ever changing world of happiness that is headed by the big man who runs it. Your response would be the same as in life wouldn't it. Bliss makes me think hypnotism. It's no different from being without conciousness. Loving is nothing without hating. A lot of people would say that they don't want to live forever. Heaven seems to be an extended version of life or the same as the nothingness that is in the minds of athiests. The only good point I see is that it's better than hell. That's the only part that would keep you wanting to get there.
The social and physical aspects scare me though. None of us will be remembered if the universe gets to it's heat death. If humanity doesn't create an empire than spans the universe then all we have done will be for nothing. If our names are in the books or make an influence bigger than our own lives then we have nothing to worry about. I feel like I'm missing the point and changing the topic here though. The good you've shared with others and the sacrtifices others have made to make you happy. What does it come to in the end? Will you even be there to thank them?
I don't think the "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" is to be feared. Your live is just one big sacrifice to a greater humanity. We were make to make children, to advance our civilisation and, to some, have fun. Yes we are a waste of space but each of us are just a big part of the world that is one day going to die like the rest of us. We're a sacrifice to the human race.
saltovergray
Huh.
That was quite a lot, I'll read this one a couple or times and then try to come up with an appropriate response.